Is it just me or are you finding it a lot harder to stay focused and motivated to do any kind of work these days?
Maybe it’s the warm weather rolling in and the gorgeous sunshine tempting us to be where we belong right now – that is, outdoors. Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve just spent two years under the constant stress and anxiety of a potentially deadly disease. Or maybe it’s how we are having to adjust, yet again, to dramatic changes as we try to get back to some semblance of the Before Times. It’s probably, most definitely, all of the above. And all of this while taking in (and living) the headlines of natural disasters, a floundering economy, the ravages of war, deepening inequities – you know, the usual.
We have all been through (and are still going through) some really tough shit! And we are being asked to work and perform and produce at unrealistic levels in the midst of some truly awful conditions.
We live in a world that has turned capitalism into a religion, that has become hyper-focused on squeezing every ounce of productivity out of us, that is obsessed with glorifying “the grind” and “the hustle”. We turn every hobby into a “side hustle” to be branded and commercialized and commodified. And we have been made to feel like being unproductive is some sort of profound personal failure, like taking time off is some sort of moral sin. In short, we’ve turned overworking into a flex.
It’s exhausting and it has been wearing me down more than ever these days. Like many others (see the recent wins for unions and the Great Resignation), I am growing rapidly disillusioned by this system we have created for ourselves and trying to find alternative, more just and more human ways of working, living, playing, and being.
Now don’t get me wrong, I once fully subscribed to the promise of hustle culture – the pervasive idea that constant productivity is at the heart of our worth and the keys to our success. Scroll back far enough in my Instagram feed and you’ll see my posts happily proclaiming my #GirlBoss status, encouraging you to “rise and grind!”, and taking pride in always being busy. If I am being completely honest, there are still many days when I find myself falling into this trap, getting a little adrenaline pump from all that “hustle”.
I cringe looking at this now but here’s a past post of my glorifying the grind. I like to think of myself as a “Recovering #GirlBoss”.
And how could I not fall into this mentality? There is a glamour to it! It is shimmery and promises success at the end of the sparkly rainbow! Even without the sparkles, I grew up in an Asian immigrant family that moved to Canada for better opportunities with parents who achieved high educational levels and pursued generational wealth to secure our privilege. That hustle culture, that #GirlBoss ethos was instilled in me long before we had cute and cool names for them.
But as I continue to do my work in decolonizing myself, I am learning how harmful this mentality actually is. How it fuels the exploitative nature of capitalism, how it creates distorted and terribly toxic ideas of self-worth while also often tearing down others. And I really don’t want to be a part of that.
This isn’t to say that chasing our dreams, taking pride in excellence, and wanting success is a bad thing. It can be a wonderful, beautiful, meaningful pursuit. But we do have to ask ourselves the hard, messy, and complicated question of whose definitions of success and of excellence we are striving for.
Rest As Resistance
Since the start of the pandemic, I’ve been sourcing much inspiration from and gratitude for the message of Tricia Hersey, an American poet, performance artist, and activist best known for her work with The Nap Ministry. Advocating for the importance of rest as a racial and social justice issue, Hersey shares such valuable wisdom around the importance of rest, of naps, of daydreaming, of doing absolutely nothing.
For Hersey and for the Nap Ministry, rest is a radical way to disrupt and push back against the oppressive forces of capitalism and white supremacy that tell us we must constantly be working and striving for some standard of excellence impossibly and arbitrarily defined by the powerful few.
According to the Nap Ministry, we do not need to "earn rest". Rest is not a reward but simply a right to which each and every one of us are entitled. We are, after all, human beings, not human doers.
It is a radical idea and one that I am still desperately trying to unlearn. The crises in health and environment that we have all been experiencing and witnessing over the last few years have made me feel increasingly untethered not just to the hyper-capitalist society we have built, but also to my very self.
As such, I am trying to listen less to what society tells me I “should” be doing, achieving, producing, and instead listening to more of what my body actually needs and wants. I am trying to set aside more intentional time for myself.
What does that look like in my world? It means taking more long weekends (instituting a 4-day work week for myself), going for my walk every day (even if it is just around the block!), and doing my 15-20 minutes of daily yoga. Nothing earth-shattering, and certainly not something I always stick to, but it’s a start!
Beyond this regular, more intentional schedule, I’ve also decided to take a much lighter workload this summer. In fact, I’m taking the rest of July off as I travel internationally for leisure for the first time in over two years. I’ll be headed to England with my partner to visit our family, explore new places, and just enjoy a slower pace of life. I’ll be back in August working on some bigger, more long-term projects, but for the most part, I’m going to do my best to be offline.
All this to say – you won’t hear from me for the rest of the summer! And I sincerely hope you take some much needed time off as well!
Rest As Privilege
Now I tell you about my summer break with a giant asterisk here. It feels disingenuous for me to simply say that I am resting to resist the crush of our hyper-capitalist system without acknowledging that I am able to take a break, to rest, to recharge because of my privilege. Simply put, I can lighten my workload because I have the luxury to do so. I am in a financially stable position safely working from home for higher-paying clients in a dual-income household.
To say rest is resistance without acknowledging the privilege that comes with that feels incomplete. It flattens the reality for so many people who simply cannot rest, especially during this time of pandemic (and yes, we are still in a pandemic!).
The way I see it, the ‘rest as resistance’ movement can easily be co-opted as many social justice movements have been (see the commodification of Pride and feminism). It can veer into the toxic, absolving us of recognizing the privileges we hold in being able to take a break and creating guilt for those unable to defy or disrupt the crush of capitalism in this way.
Rest is resistance. Rest is a privilege.
Can we hold these two truths at once? Can we embody rest as a way to disrupt productivity in a hyper-capitalist world while also acknowledging the privilege that comes with that?
Perhaps more importantly though is this question: can we get to a place in our world where rest doesn’t have to be a privilege, but simply a natural part of each and every one of our lives?
I’m still trying to understand this new line of thinking and holding space for myself to untangle the complexities.
Until next time, may you find precious moments to take a nap, a break, a pause, and a breath this summer!